What makes a relationship romantic?

Affection: Expressing affection through gestures, words, or physical touch helps maintain the romantic connection. Small acts of kindness and affectionate behaviors contribute to a loving atmosphere.
Affection is expressed in so many beautiful ways in historical novels. The casual brush against a woman’s hand, tucking wayward curl behind her ear, and gifts of flowers are very common in these novels and are fraught with meaning.

What makes a relationship romantic?

Shared Goals and Values: A romantic relationship flourishes when both partners have common goals, values, and aspirations. I love it when the two main characters are working together for a common cause. I love mysteries, and I’m a sucker for a good historical mystery where the female main character pairs up with a detective, and they work together, and sometimes against each other, to solve a crime, unravel a mystery, or save someone.

A Writer’s Corner – Should a person who is not a romantic write a romance novel?

An editor in the R/writing sub Reddit asks the intriguing question, “Who are you writing for?”
They went on to say that they’re not writing for themselves because their goal is for other people to read their work. I totally get that. And OP goes on to say that they’re not writing for others either because they don’t want other people and those opinions to affect their work. I get that, too.
“However, without a clear picture of for whom I’m writing, I am still writing.”


That’s the thing, isn’t it? Sometimes, we just don’t know what motivates us to write. But this post got me thinking.
Initially, I started writing purely for myself. I needed to get all of these characters and scenarios out of my head, so I thought, why not publish them? It’s an exorcism of sorts.
Then I discovered that the process was a lot of fun—more fun than doing my other hobbies. It became the most enjoyable use of my spare time.
I love developing the characters, getting into their minds, and building their world.
Then, I published my first book and discovered the world of self-publishing. I was immediately resistant to marketing and branding. I hated the idea of using social media to promote my book. I told myself that, though sales would be nice, the lack of sales wouldn’t stop me from writing. But I found myself checking every day to see if the book had any traction at all.

I found that as much as I like writing, I absolutely loved the idea that someone else might enjoy my book as much as I enjoyed writing it. I found that I wanted the reader’s opinions as much as I feared those opinions.
It became a balancing act. I have to confess that I altered my writing somewhat to fit my reader demographic. Historical romances traditionally have a happy ever after—I know that. I’m too much of a realist to want or to even buy into the happily ever after. For the most part, they also have alpha males as the hero. This makes me think that maybe someone who is cynical by nature shouldn’t be writing romances. I’m not enamored of the alpha male trope. Nuanced male characters are much more intriguing. I love the flawed heroes who show their vulnerability: the ones overcoming family baggage, the ones who are scarred by war and other trauma. I deep dive into the feelings.
So, while common tropes frame the narrative, my characters don’t quite fit into the trope. My female characters are bolder and somehow more self-assured—even those who are shy have confidence in some areas of their lives.

The OP in the sub-Reddit ends his post by asking again who I should be writing for. My answer would be to write for yourself, and hopefully, you will find your audience.

What makes a relationship romantic?

Quality Time: Spending meaningful time together strengthens the romantic bond. Whether it’s through shared activities or simple moments of togetherness, quality time fosters a deep connection.
Time spent together helps to build the romantic momentum in a novel. In historical romance, this is most easily done when the characters are thrown together during a house party. They have a legitimate reason to be around each other 24/7. During these scenes, the bonds can be formed at a very good pace, and the characters can easily be thrust into semi-intimate contact.

In my second novel, Marry Me, Duke, my main characters have a forced proximity that allows them to get to know each other well and go through their emotions while still maintaining proximity. In my first novel, A Misalliance with Love, the main characters spend much of their time away from each other, thinking about one another. Because of this, the emotional bond, perhaps, isn’t as strong. The novel ends with the promise of this bond and the chance to forge a connection.

What makes a relationship romantic?

Surprises and Thoughtfulness: Thoughtful gestures and surprises demonstrate that partners are attentive to each other’s needs and desires. It could be as simple as a heartfelt note, a surprise date, or a small gift.
This is such a sign of a true romantic, and it’s a pity that we don’t see more of it in historical romances. There’s plenty of flower giving but a few real surprises. I love it when the main male character knows that the main female character needs something or wants something very badly and makes sure that she has it, even if the gift is given anonymously. The best example of this is in ‘Sense and Sensibility’ when Marianne Dashwood receives the piano without knowing that it was sent by Colonel Brandon. That was very romantic.

My Take on Romance and Intimacy

Physical and emotional intimacy plays a significant role in a romantic relationship. This involves not only the physical aspects but also the sharing of personal thoughts, fears, and dreams.

I choose to write ‘closed-door’ romances, preferring to concentrate on the emotional buildup between the main characters.

Nothing against spicy novels, but sometimes I find the constant emphasis on the physical takes away from the story and can make the emotional intimacy unbelievable.

Which do you prefer? The physical, or the emotional?

Figuring Out The Romance

When I’m reading or writing a romance, I always try to figure out why I do or do not consider the relationship between the main characters to be ‘romantic’. Sometimes a novel will miss the mark completely, opting for lust rather than romance.

I realize that there are certain things I consider deeply romantic that don’t necessarily fit into the usual romance novel tropes- the biggest being open and honest communication. This is crucial in any romantic relationship and in a novel, must happen by the end of the book, in my opinion.

Miscommunication is the main driver of most plots. I confess that in the books I love best, the romantic duo should be on the same side and facing adversity together. Yet, in my first novel, I chose to show a potentially romantic relationship thwarted by a lack of honesty. In A Misalliance with Love, miscommunication comes about because the romantic duo are blinded by their own views and needs. in Marry Me, Duke, the female main character is honest, even though her honesty can be seen in a bad light. Her love interest is keeping secrets and suppressing his love for her.

The ability to express feelings, thoughts, and desires fosters a deep connection between partners, and it does happen at the end of the novels.

Check out A Misalliance with Love and Marry Me, Duke – available on Amazon.

Image generated using AI MIdjourney..

How did you come up with your idea for a novel?

A reader asked me this and it made me realize that most of my ideas come from something that resonates with me on a personal level.

I love writing historical romances, and the inspiration for my most recent novel, Marry Me, Duke, came from experience. No, sadly, I did not marry a duke. I was a caregiver for a few years and decided that one of my main characters should be a caregiver.

It turned into a semi-mystery with a bold debutant caring for a handsome duke. She was bossy and controlling but well-meaning and falling in love.

Most of my ideas come to me while thinking of hobbies or situations a Victorian heroine can find herself in, and it is easier to craft a character I can personally relate to.

Image generated by AI using MidJourney

The love of the historical romance

My love for Regency romance novels – and writing them – is a tribute to the genre’s ability to provide an engaging blend of history, romance, and escapism. The elegance of the historical era, be it Regency, Victorian, or any other, coupled with strong characters and timeless love stories, creates an experience that I continue to find enchanting and enduring.

Check out ‘A Misalliance with Love’ and ‘Marry Me, Duke’ where you can enter the enchanting world of the Victorian debutant. https://amzn.to/3RVBJLD

On Valentine’s Day, Marry Me, Duke will be released to Kindle Unlimited!

Happy Reading!

Image generated using AI – Midjourney.

Wit and Banter

Regency romance is known for its sharp wit and clever banter. The dialogue between characters is often a highlight, filled with humor, charm, and intellectual sparring. The verbal exchanges between the protagonists add a layer of entertainment that keeps the storytelling engaging and delightful.

I love good dialogue, particularly centered around conflict, but writers who master the art of comedy in their writing deserve all the accolades. I think comedic scenes are difficult to write because there is no universal standard for humor. When I laugh out loud at a scene, I wonder if others are discovering the same humor in it.

In Marry Me, Duke, I wrote scenes that made me laugh while writing them but did that humor translate well.

Why don’t you find out?

Check out ‘Marry Me, Duke’ where a bossy woman fights for the man and the life she wants. https://a.co/d/9lsK0vX

Image generated using AI – Midjourney.